Why I can no longer be a mother

 I can no longer be the mother I once was

I really thought I could no longer be a great mom anymore. As a parent we have all wondered at one time or another “Am I parenting correctly?”. This started happening to me after our youngest child was born, we have three children all together. My eldest is on the Autism Spectrum and has ADHD, our second child is our quick to temper antagonizer who also destroys things. Our daughter is the light in the darkness. Very sweet and always smiling.

Why I thought I was no longer a good mother

After she was born my health problems started acting up even more. I thought me being the mother I wanted to be was done. Sitting in my chair whenever possible. No longer cleaning the house as I once did. I no longer found the bright side of being a mother. Family times were painful and stressful for me. My stress effected the rest of the family as well. Our eldest became dangerous for himself and the other children. Our second child started destroying things and we had a baby who would not let us sleep. (We were able to sleep in five-hour shifts and that was it.) I was having the side effects of sleep deprivation and was not just tired but every part of my body was exhausted. Comprehension of conversation was beyond me.

Things I tried for me

I tried doing other things for myself. Things like going to school for a career I could perform at home. Due to the Fibro Fog that started a month into the educational program, I was unable to retain any information in my studies, even the information I already knew, it was lost. I studied harder and still could not get the information to stay in my brain. Life was hard at that time with the family dynamic and I thought I could find happiness in a job for myself. Something that I would do for me. Something I could be good at and also have as an escape from all of my stress.

My life changed

Many of you may think I am ungrateful for my children but you would be wrong. We prayed for our children and I suffered miscarriages and still believed that one day our prayers would be answered. I knew I would receive the children I was supposed to. Even if that meant I would never receive the gift of a beautiful baby girl.
I was unhappy because of the undiagnosed Fibromyalgia. Understanding anything that was happening to me was impossible to me, for years the doctors did not know what was wrong with me.

My glorious new beginning

I was even asked to take a mental health assessment. Right after the Doctor asked me to take the mental health assessment I felt insulted. Then I turned the table, (in my head at least) and I said yes. At that moment I decided to look at the assessment as a way for the Doctors to finally take me more seriously. They finally did take me more seriously shortly after they received the results of that assessment. I do have a family history of mental health issues which may have been one reason the Doctor asked me for the mental health assessment. Although I think it was mainly because I was sleep deprived and went into his office exhausted. He said my tired look made him think I was depressed. I was exhausted! I am sure any mother with a child who will not sleep would understand.

Our perfect day

So today I am a newish mom, in the sense of I am able to do more now with my family than I could four years ago. Especially due to having less stress in my life. Now that I know my diagnosis and what to expect things are better. Plus, my children are each four years’ older.
So, this morning I looked at my calendar and it turned out I was free today. That was when I decided it was a Gracie day. (My daughters name is Grace.) I told her as soon as she woke up. She asked what “What is that?”. I told her how we would do anything she wanted to do today. Her face lit up with excitement. I felt very blessed in that moment to be able to give it to her.

What we did together

Today we started our “Gracie Day” with coloring and popcorn. Then we traveled to her room to cuddle and watch the movie Hercules. My younger children have VCRs because VHS is harder to destroy than DVDs are. After that we finally dressed ourselves and took our dog for a walk. Where we ended our walk at a park in our neighborhood. Then we had lunch and did yoga together. After that it was time to end “Gracie Day” by rolling her window down as we drove to pick up her brother.

Why I did nothing else

I did not clean our house at all today. I wanted all of my “spoons” to go to her. My day with my daughter was a true joy. I hope this post reaches out to you and encourages you to accomplish the same experience. I believed at one time that I had to do all of the high energy things with my children still in order to give then memories and fun. After today I realized I can give them just all of my time and focus and they will be happy. 

My wishMake a wish

My wish is for me to never think that I am not enough. I never want the thought of me not being a good enough mother to enter my mind. The children just want my undivided attention and time. I do not have to do the exciting, fully stimulating and energy draining things I used to.  Although my day may seem small to some I know what I did today was huge. Grace will have memories and continue to ask for “Gracie Days” in the future. Today I gave memories, my time and joy to one very special little girl.

Let me introduce myself

Get to know a fibro warrior

Hello my name is Elyse,

I take a lot of pleasure in

  • My faith
  • Cacao (This girl is a chocoholic)
  • Spending time with my husband
  • Sleeping (when possible)
  • Drinking Lavender and Chamomile Tea
  • Days I can stay in the kitchen and cook my family’s favorites all day
  • The cuddle time I get with my kids
  • Cheering my kids on
  • Baths
  • Meditation
  • Exercise
  • Positivity
  • When I have the energy I LOVE to read. At the moment my favorite Authors are Jane Austen and J.A. Jance.

Now the Medical Problem Bio

I have Fibromyalgia, it has been a part of me since 2011. The formal diagnosis came in 2014. I was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism in mid 2011 and various other diagnoses followed after that. All of which I will share throughout my blog. Along with some blog posts about my family and the days I experience. If you have any questions please contact me at elyse@naturallyfibro.com I will be happy to help you in any way I can. Even if all you need is some contact from another person who may understand what you are going through.

Before Fibro I was active, happy and stress free. I completed my college degree and met my husband. We were able to live a better life before Fibro. I strive to live that life once again.

I am doing everything I can to find a way for myself to live comfortably with Fibro. In my search for relief from this painful yet invisible medical condition I have become my own “lab rat” as I call it. I have discovered many things that work very well for me. Nothing I have tried takes away every little bit of pain but it is manageable and I do sleep almost every night.

My goal is to become a better, happier, healthier person for myself, my husband, our three children and even for my Fibromyalgia friends which are you. I cannot wait to meet you and give you any support you are looking for that day.

What to expect in this blog

By reading the naturally fibro blog you will be able to find some information like, what Fibromyalgia is. As well as blog posts about me. Things I experience, read or find interesting. In one way or another it will all be related to Fibromyalgia.

I hope to hear your story soon.

How and why I changed my eating lifestyle

This post contains affiliate links which means I receive a small commission at no extra cost to you if you make a purchase using the link.

What worked for me is not guaranteed to work for you

All of us are different. No diet or exercise program works for all of us. If they did then there would not be so many diets and exercise techniques out there. I support anything that works for you. I just want you to take the time to figure out what that is. I am not giving you any medical or diet advice this post is just about my story on how I changed my lifestyle for me.

Why I changed my food

I started changing my eating habits because I was having trouble digesting some foods. Having a medical problem and going through the anger of not being able to live life as you used to anymore is hard. So I choose to be happy and limit what I eat so I can feel better. With Fibromyalgia we have come to find out it affects our digestive system. So changing our diets to easily digestible foods with high nutrients is key for us.

What caused me to know I needed a change

First I had to give up cow milk. My body could not process it without giving me heartburn and bloating. I am a true believer in listening to my body. So when I would get heartburn and bloating from drinking cow milk, I stopped drinking it. I know most people would reach for an antacid but that is just a mask. If your body is having a bad reaction to a food or drink listen to it, do not just cover it up.  You could just be allowing more damage to happen to your internal body parts.

For me, gluten cannot be processed without a lot of pain and inflammation throughout my body. I took gluten out of my diet even before I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. My stomach will stretch out and make me look as if I am six months pregnant. And the pain, that pain would make me cry and pray for it to go away. The only way I could get this pain to go away was through natural remedies. I am a natural being so I choose to treat my body naturally.

Laying on my bed with a pillow and a heating pad placed under my stomach. I then drink two cups of ginger tea. Either make my own from a couple slices of ginger in hot water or I buy only one brand. Traditional Medicinals is the only brand that is good enough to trust both in quality and taste.  Also, I will stay in my room alone because there is usually one way that gas is leaving me.

I had to also take eggs out of my diet due to my body’s inability to process them without pain. I never found anything that would help me if I ate eggs. The pain with them was a much harder stabbing pain than with gluten. Eggs were out of my diet about four months before the gluten was.How changing my eating habits to Vegan helped me cope with my medical problems.

What gave us the big shove

In early 2017, very close to New Years, I watched a couple documentaries with my husband, on the China Study and some others on plant-based diets like Forks over knives. When the second documentary finished my husband asked me “what do you think about trying this, if it works for you I will support you.” I had heard of plant-based eating helping people like me before this but I didn’t want to change our family’s habits without support. So we started changing our eating habits together the next time I went food shopping. That is all we saw them as, eating habits, not a diet. This was a chance to see if a change in my food would actually help me feel better.

How we started the change

As a couple, my husband and I talk about everything. So we took the time to discuss how we would make this drastic change. Because we both loved the taste of our meat and dairy. Goodness knows, as most of you feel I am sure, I was the queen of cheese. And butter, heck I was raised on that, why use 1 tablespoon when a whole stick will do.

Sign up for the Four Week Food Change Challenge worksheet below

I bought a journal just for this new eating plan. I thought the text on the cover of the journal was very fitting. We decided we would have meatless dinners twice a week. When we did have meat, the meat would be thin cut fish or chicken breasts. We did quite well at this first part of our Vegan mission. It was a lot easier than most of us expect. I did not change my eating habits in the cold turkey fashion because that does not work for me. I know enough about myself that I must change my body and mindset gradually.

 

The first meatless meal I made was a vegetable soup that I already knew my family loves. (I was going to share that recipe but at this time I cannot find it.)

I always have to double recipes because we have a family of five so we had that soup for several dinners. When we finally finished that pot of soup my husband and I talked. It had been three days since we last ate meat. And crazy enough neither one of us were having a problem with not eating meat. Our kids were still asking for it but the two of us were just fine without it.

That night I took time to pay attention to my body and how it was feeling. I realized that for the last couple of days I been becoming better. I was less stiff and had more energy. Enough to where I had not felt the need to nap that day. I was quite impressed just by that but not completely convinced yet.

My husband and I ate meat a couple more times after the night we finished the vegetable soup. Then we talked once again, we decided that we should just kick the meat out of our diet. My journal was showing how I would feel a little better one day but then be down with pain and exhaustion again the day after we ate meat with dinner. That was enough to show me that being a vegetarian was worth it.

No dairy!! What? No!!!

We were meat-free for four months before I started taking the dairy out. First I took out the butter. Yes, my long loved butter. I quickly looked for a Non-GMO vegan butter because butter was very hard to stop using altogether. I cook for my family every day, several times a day so no butter was hard. First I tried a coconut oil butter then I found another one. My family likes the second one better and so does my wallet.

Cheese, my dear sweet cheese. Yes, I cut cheese out of my daily food intake. That is how I worked it at first. I started taking it out of my daily love affair with food a day a week. After my second week like that, I decided to take it out two days a week. I was very addicted to cheese. It took me a month to feel ok about going without cheese a couple days a week. But I finally let it go enough to place another restriction on myself. I took away cheddar. I know, can you believe it cheddar!? Of all the cheeses I decided to cut out of my diet first, I went with the one that has the most flavor. That was because I was pretty sure it would be the hardest to let go of.

I will tell you how I came to the decision of cheddar being the first cheese I cut out of my life. True to form, I listened not only to books written by experts but also to my body. I read books that said cheddar is the hardest cheese for our bodies to digest. With how low my energy was and how yuck my body felt after I ate cheddar cheese, I believed the experts. I realized that my taste buds loved cheddar, not my body. After a month of that, I only allowed Monterey Jack and feta in my foods lifestyle. Feta was the hard one to let go of because I love it on my salads or should I say my taste buds love it.

Now I eat for my soul and that is a whole new lifestyle. I found that if I eat what my body likes it will reward me with only 3-4 painful days a month. Only one of those painful days keep me in bed. My cognitive function is amazing. I rarely get brain fog only on that one day of tremendous pain. My cardiovascular system works great, I can jog 5 k’s now in 40 minutes. I do not know about stairs right now but at least I can run again and talk. Heart palpitations have not been a problem and I cannot remember the last time I dealt with vertigo. Life has been amazing since the switch. All it took was for me to pay attention to the needs of my body instead of my taste buds.

I know this blog post was long and I appreciate you taking the time to read it.

 

May the rest of your day be joyful,

Elyse with NaturallyFibro

 

 

 

 

Time for you

Time for you to relax

What does time for you mean? If you are a mother and or wife you may have forgotten what time for you is. Time for you is time for you to regroup, get to know you again. You are a person beyond your family, you deserve nourishment just like everyone else. With how busy life is today with running the kids everywhere and something is always happening somewhere, we forget about ourselves. We matter, time for you matters. It is perfectly ok to hang a sign on your bedroom doorknob that says you are not to be disturbed. Or get dressed up and run out of the house before the kids know you are gone. That one never works for me.

Kids and husbands never think twice about leaving you to go do whatever it is they want to do. So why are you not taking time for you? So many women I try to do things with for some girl time say they are to busy, always to busy. How can you be to busy to take care of yourself, always? Having families does not mean we have to give up everything for ourselves. I am not talking about going out every night doing goodness only knows what. I am talking about being too busy to tell your husband you are leaving to get a manicure done. Or spending the money on a sitter so you can go out on a girls night and actually have adult conversations. Heck, when was the last time you went clothes shopping for only yourself? Or bought yourself a new outfit because you wanted to, not because there was a hole in your clothes.

Something small I do for myself

Being a mom can definitely be one of the best things you ever get to experience. But why are we losing ourselves to that experience? One of my latest time for me pass times is watching a Paparazzi Jewelry consultant. I leave my family to sit at our computer and listen with headphones so I can hide and hear the show without interruption. It may seem little but it is sometime I get to clear my mind of everything. During that time I do not need to do anything, just sit back and relax. I make a cup of tea and let it all go.

Recently I have also been thinking about multi-tasking and doing a manicure while I watch the live show. I need to buy some new tools because my kids lost my old ones. Things like that happen a lot with my kids and fibro fog. Things I forget about putting away they get into. And I just found one for a great price and an almost five-star rating! Excitement!

Life is never going to stop or slow down so make it stop for you at some point. Put yourself and maybe even your girlfriends into your schedule. Yes, actually go get your favorite writing tool for your appointment book or calendar right now and write your name and a time down. You matter, so show other people that you know you matter by actually taking that time for yourself. Do not reschedule!

Things to do while taking time for you,

To find these groups I used meetups.com. I have found this website to be a very useful tool when trying to find a group of anything, people.
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The list is endless, the ones where you have an appointment or regularly scheduled time are the best. Because those times you know you are going to get exactly what you need. When we do not have anything regularly scheduled for ourselves we have an easier time forgetting about ourselves. With Fibro, we really have to remember that we need even more extra care than others. We still run homes and possibly have jobs outside those homes. We need me time or we are going to fall apart.

What it took for me to realize I need me time

When things were going really bad for me with sleep deprivation and heart palpitations along with the other well-known side effects of fibro, I thought I was going to die. I had a baby who never slept, for three months my husband and I slept in shifts. We were at our breaking point when she finally started sleeping at night. I was not yet diagnosed at that time but since life was so crazy I didn’t even schedule doctor appointments for myself. I did not take the time to take care of me. Now, what if Fibro was a medical condition that was fatal. I would have been kicking myself even harder for not being checked out sooner. I mean I was having heart palpitations and I didn’t call for an appointment.

The point is, you need to take care of yourself no matter how silly it may seem with everyone so busy.

Here are some self care ideas from CleanPlates.com.

This post contains affiliate links which means I receive a small commission at no extra cost to you if you make a purchase using the link.

 

 

Fibro Friends with their own Businesses

Welcome to all who want to share their businesses

Our first business owner is Kelly please take the time to read her story and explore her business.

Hi!! I am Kelly. I have fibromyalgia. I also have two grown children. They are 37 & 34 years old, now. When I got my diagnosis, they were 15 & 12 years old. Fibro was still a “syndrome” then. after almost two years of dealing with that worsening “flu”, I began seeking medical help. I went to as many doctors as I could afford to see. All of them acted as if I should be seeing a psychiatrist instead. Delicate, hypochondriac woman seemed to be their general idea. None of them came up with anything to help me, not even with the symptoms.

After about two years of that, I lucked out. I worked as a private housekeeper at that time and one of my clients happened to be a retired physician. She still kept herself current with medical knowledge and had attended a symposium the previous week. It included information about this new “syndrome”. She asked if she could examine me, free of charge. Well, YES!! Thanks to Dr. Nan, I finally knew that I wasn’t crazy or an hysterical female!! Such a relief, but there was no prescription. NONE!! Not just no medication option, but NONE. Just go home and learn to deal with it. OK! Fortunately, I had been teaching myself about nutrition and herbalism for several years, and was even growing some medicinal herbs in our small yard. I went home that day with at least some direction to learn about how to help myself. I knew that I should start with the nervine group. I knew that I could tighten up on my nutritional choices. I choose natural fibro management, still, and have experienced great improvement in manageability as time has progressed and I have continued to use myself as a guinea pig.

In the last twenty-two years, I have tried many herbs, many forms of exercise, many mixtures of vitamins and minerals, and many “new” behavioral techniques, such as putting me first and meditation. Some of these have been helpful, some not so much. In the last couple of years, I think I have discovered a fairly good balance and am no longer experimenting. I have found the Ketogenic Diet. I have found that living simply and without extraneous clutter is less strenuous. Not as much to be responsible for! I spend far more time as part of our planet, rather than separated from it. I now work from home with a network marketing company, Paparazzi Accessories, selling jewelry online and in person. This way, I am in charge of my own schedule and my own life. I can rest as needed, working as much or as little as feels appropriate that day. I love that I am helping other women learn to do the same while fostering my own creativity and sense of style. I have grown in hurdles. Most days, I love my life. I feel happy and content, finally.
You can watch her videos on her Facebook page, Kelly’s Kickin’ Paparazzi Page if you like what you see please feel free to request membership to her shopping group on Facebook as well. Kelly’s Kickin’ Shopping Group!!

Date night and I am exhausted

I am exhausted BUT….

We have had thto exhausted fro date nightis date on the books for about a month and of course I have been exhausted and utterly worn out since noon. Why is it that when we have something planned it seems to always be on a day that fibro shows up one way or the other? I know my day was truly exhausting because my four-year-old crashed on our couch. She never just takes a nap all by herself during the day. Her spontaneous nap is how I know my exhaustion is truly justified today. None the less I still need to muster up all the energy possible and enjoy myself tonight. Dates, whether you have been together for a year or 75 years are very important. To important to reschedule.

My husband and I have always believed in the power of date nights but ever since we moved into our new home our dates have been errands or escapes from the kids. You know how that is. So tonight is very important, we have decided to treat it like a romantic date.

The day after

Our date gave us just what we were looking for. Had I decided to stay home and put my comfy clothes on, my husband and I would never have received what we needed last night. As I realize that, I wonder how many other great experiences have I taken away from my family due to Fibromyalgia. There were many times for many years that I just sat in my chair. I did not want to do anymore than I needed to do in order to get through my day. The things I once enjoyed, as with most of you with Fibromyalgia know, were lost. Learning how to live with the side effects of Fibromyalgia is hard enough. Then you add the changes you need to make on how you do things. Not just how many things you do but how you do them.

Changes

I know without those changes I would never be as happy as I am today. Those first several years were full of so much pain and lack of understanding for myself. The anger I felt towards myself when I could not do something or held the family back. I am sure many of you can understand that frustration and anger.

I was also insecure about the future of my marriage. We make vows to each other when we are married and should stand by our word, I know. The insecurity came from me feeling as if this medical problem was also effecting him more than I cared for. He married a women who could do everything she needed to and more. Someone who was generally very happy, had energy and never yelled or had PMS. Then I turned into an emotional mess, started having PMS, yelling and always full of stress. So to me he was now married to someone different than he had made those vows to years before.

So to make sure he could be happy, I did let him know, that if he could not stay happy with me because of the Fibromyalgia I understood. I have taken that choice away now though. I am proud that I married a man who fought for me. Anyway he could help he did and still does. Even when I have very emotional days and all I want to do is bite off anyone’s head. I am sure you fully understand that feeling. How about the days when you are angry one second and the next you are crying. Fun, right?

One way I take care of myself

I still feel a little guilty when my husband does the big household chores. Because I cannot do the big chores without having a flare of side effects. But then I remember it is important to make sure I am taken care of too. If me taking care of myself means someone else must mop the floors then great. I found out I have a limitation and how to take care of that limitation. I am very thankful to have someone who understands that and doesn’t give me grief over me not being able to do something.

Some thoughts for you

So many of us are women and believe we can still be Super Woman. But doing that just puts us down again. So why do we act as if we are yo-yo’s? Switching back and forth from doing nothing because we can’t due to some side effect we are dealing with. Or we are bright and cheery and full of energy. We can have more energy, a little bit more mind you and be cheery every day. The thing is we just have to choose how we use our energy.

So take everything slow, try not to stress over to much and give yourself everything you need to go out on that date. If you nurture and then harvest yourself properly you will be able to have fun memory making days. Dates. getaways, girl time, play time. Make sure to take care of yourself and your family will enjoy you a lot more. Not to mention just how much more you will enjoy and like yourself once again too.

Start to Change

When I started to change my medication

I was a young mother wondering how long it would be before my medications put me on the operating table. I was worried who would take care of my children if I ended up needing an organ transplant. How drastically the lives of my family members would change if I were no longer here. For me the medications began to become scary with the unknown possibilities.

My thinking about the medication not being good for me started when I was getting tired of taking them every time I was in pain. Since I had to take them every time I was in pain I realized they were doing nothing to change my medical diagnosis. There was not going to come a day that I would no longer need the medication if I stayed on it. I did not like that bleak look at hope.

What I used instead of medication at first

I wanted more, more play time with the kids, more endurance, more better days. Moving my body when I wanted to and for as long as I wanted to was and is very important to me. I was thirty-years-old the day I was finally diagnosed. There was no way I was ready to say, “I will now live my life in a chair in severe pain everyday.” If my family is any indication as to how long I may live, I will live to be at least ninety-years-old. There is no way I am going to spend the next sixty-years of my life sitting in one thing or another. Just trying to get through the day.

So in order to live I decided to stop the medications which caused me to turn to alcohol. The with drawl pain on my body from the medications was severe and although I had no idea which was better, the medications or a shot or two an evening. I thought my odds seemed better with alcohol for the time being. Just until I could figure out what else to do. I did not like either the medications nor the alcohol so do not think I am trying to steer you that way. I just had no idea how to live without some immediate pain relief at that time. By the time evening came around I had it, the pain was making me cry and that would freak out my husband.

Changing for the better

Then a doctor told me I should get back on the medication for the pain because alcohol inflames us which brings on the pain in chronic pain illnesses. I was determined to not use the medications any way I could. But I knew neither me nor my husband were happy about the alcohol either. I decided then to start limiting how often I would have a drink.  My first goal I made to myself was taking alcohol away every other night. With my husbands support I took a lot more baths after we ate dinner.

He would get the kids ready for bed while I took a bath. In my bathwater I would put with 15 drops of lavender oil, 2 cups Epsom salt, and 1/2 a cup of baking soda. To detox you must stay in your bath for 20 minutes. So I would take a nice book or a meditation from my iPod. I like Meditation Oasis the voice of Mary Maddux and the music in the background made me a true fan of their work. On their website they do have a mini break meditation for seven minutes if you would like to hear what Mary Maddux sounds like. This is where you can find the mini meditation. 

After I was doing the baths every other evening I noticed, on those nights I could sleep better. I would wake up in the morning feeling better physically and mentally. I talked to my husband about me taking a bath every evening and he agreed, of course.

The change did not come quickly

The change took a while. As a mother I have found it impossible to stay on a routine when it comes to taking care of myself. Someone or something always needs us, right!? With my husbands help I do always know that taking care of myself does matter. My children are a little older now, no more babies needing everything done for them. Life has become easier that way.

I stopped using the alcohol in the place of medication in 2016, I was diagnosed early 2014. I did not just one day say that is it no more drinking until April of 2017. So it took three years for me to realize because of Fibro I could never drink again. Because of the pain it would caused. Not only does alcohol cause more pain but Fibromyalgia is known for making our response to alcohol as almost instantly drunk. That is what did it for me. I quit drinking alcohol even socially in 2017 because to me, being drunk is not fun. Especially when you have only had a sip or two.

After 2017

In 2017 a very rough year, I changed a lot. My diet, how I care for my Fibromyalgia, stopped all alcohol, those all changed for me in one year. While I was at home all alone with three kids because my husband was deployed. I hope to find many more wonderful changes in my beautiful mostly pain-free life. I never know if my Fibromyalgia will become even worse than it is today but today I am grateful for less pain. So when I do start feeling tons of pain I reach for my bathtub. I reach for my meditations and my treadmill. Movement and complete relaxation were my first natural friends. I continue to use them to this day. I hope you find your path too.

Continue reading “Start to Change”

Today: Nausea

Nausea

One of the great side-effects of Fibromyalgia, nausea. Nausea is quite debilitating. What you really want to do is fall right down and stay there. You cannot stand at all or if feels like you will be sick at any moment. So no dinner, no cleaning, barely showered and dressed. I did risk shaving my legs today. They were becoming a little to much to handle. Luckily I did not lose my balance nor hurt myself in any way.

 

On these days my husband has to do the dinner and the dishes. Luckily I do not have a husband who ever complains. Early on in my diagnosis my husband did his own research on Fibromyalgia. He wanted to know what to expect and what I was going through. I know there are many people out there with spouses who did not stay with them or argues with them about what they should be able to do. When I read or hear about those of us with Fibromyalgia not having a supportive spouse it saddens me. I wish I could be there for them. I wish all the spouses would just take the time to educate themselves. We already feel alone in this.

 

I have yet to find what my body needs when the nausea hits me. Nothing but laying down or putting heat on my stomach seems to help. This feeling also makes me very tired. My body is being told I need to feel as if I am sick today. Anyone can tell you that being sick is no fun at all. But how about feeling sick when you are not sick. Isn’t Fibro fun? But I am excited to say I have fibro flares about once a month now. Compare that to having a flare everyday and I have found a great treasure. Tea can help when I feel nauseous and mint tea is the best.

How I lived today

Other than the basics necessities of the day, I played with my daughter while I sat on the couch. We colored in her coloring books and drew on each other. She let me play with her hair. As a mom I love doing that, she very seldom lets me play with her hair. She also took advantage of me at one point and took all the game pieces out of one of her game boxes. But hey at least she didn’t put the mustard into our milk again like she did yesterday.

 

When my kids do not get their mother they really let me know about it. Having a medical diagnosis that is invisible is hard for adults to understand. Could you imagine being a kid and hearing your mom tell you, no fun today for a reason you cannot see.

When my other kids are home while I have a flare

I used to tell me kids that I was sick, I related it to them getting a cold. I thought a cold they could understand but then how do they understand the pain? One of my children, my middle child, who will do anything to make me feel better. It is the sweetest experience but then he hurts me and all of a sudden the enjoyment is gone. That is when I suggest he should come and cuddle with me.

 

I also have a twelve-year-old who I can ask to do things that seem impossible for me during a flare. His help is great for me on those days as well. The way he sweetly says, “Yes Mom?” is a very heart warming experience for me. Life can be rough sometimes but as long as we look for the sunshine everything will end up great for us.

Kindle Resources


In the mood to read?

There are several books offered on Amazon for the Kindle. The books I am talking about are also free with your Kindle membership. If you do not have an unlimited membership several books are still very affordable. If you are paying out of pocket for every book then collections are probably your best bet. I found this title Free from Fibromyalgia Books 1-5 Master Collection Kindle Edition which is by Tricia Duffy to be of interest. Tricia Duffy has written several books on Fibromyalgia for the Kindle.


If you are more interested in a personal story then I would try Pain-Free: How I Released 43 Years of Chronic Pain. This book is written by Dottie DuParcé. As far as I can see this is her only publication. But for $3.99 or free with your Kindle membership it would be great to see how someone else who has years of experience, deals with their pain.

Relationship Books

Are you looking for a free resource for your marriage on kindle this may be of interest to you. This book with a Kindle edition is called, Marriage on Mission: How strengthening your marriage multiplies your missional impact. 

Running on Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships With Your Partner, Your Parents and Your Children, this sounds like an amazing book for something that so many of us with Fibromyalgia have been dealing with.

Knowing your partners and your love language is a very important tool. Take the time to read this today. Knowing what is the best way to communicate my love to my husband has been a great tool in him always knowing how I feel about him. The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts.

Why we need each other

With something like Fibromyalgia we must never stop educating ourselves. There are not many people who what it is we actually have. We now have a name when for so long many patients did not have a correct diagnosis. My Grandmother was told her Fibromyalgia was different things over the years. The medical community did not have a name for Fibromyalgia. And yet still today many in the medical profession do not understand it. That is why it is important for us with Fibromyalgia to never stop talking to each other. Learning from one another is our most powerful tool.

Looking on the Kindle app for any personal experiences or research done by fellow Fibro patients is our most important tool. I wish doctors would see it that way too. Maybe then Fibromyalgia would no longer be such a mystery. Many of us have found out that nutrition does play a vital factor in the pain, exhaustion, and cognitive function we experience every day. Yet many doctors do not believe what patients are telling them.

Something I changed

The most I hear about nutrition from others is a diet high in plant-based food is what helps them. I chose to start my journey on the road to vegan and eventually WFPB (Whole Foods Plant Based) because of research was done by my husband and me. Once he said he would eat this way too we started our new lifestyle, gradually. Giving up certain foods like dairy was the hardest but it took me less than 6 months to do. I gave up meat first, I noticed my amount of pain was less. My cognitive function was better too.

When I took out dairy my whole life changed. My hormones became a little more balanced. My digestive system operated better. My pain, exhaustion and cognitive function all improved. I am also a more positive thinker, without trying. I smile more, without thinking about it. While I am out of the house I smile at strangers and even give compliments to those I do not know.

My next food battle is oil or salt, I have not decided yet. I will eventually reach my goal though.

Never stop trading information and seeking education about your diagnosis. You never know what will help you conquer it all.

Natural treatments that work for me

Natural Treatments, do they work?

Yes, natural treatments do work. The natural treatments that do work for me are what will be covered in this post. If I have not tried it then it is not on my list. Giving you information on what might work is not a helpful piece of information.

My ever growing list

  1. Very hot bath with Epsom salt, baking soda, and lavender essential oil. Many of you have already heard of this one. I need the water to be very hot or it does nothing to soothe my pain. For those of us with Fibromyalgia, showers can bring on nerve pain and exhaustion so a bath is best when you are having a fibro day, as I call it.
  2. Herbal tea, I like the brand Traditional Medicinals because the flavors I use are all organic and very pleasant. I use two tea bags in the teas with lighter flavor when I am having a flare-up. The use of the two tea bags is purely medicinal by adding the extra tea bag I am making my medicine strong enough to take away my pain or stress. Just in case you would not like to go through a long list of teas I do not recommend I have also added the links to the specific teas that help me.
    1. Chamomile and Lavender– I use this tea for nerve and muscle pain. When do we not have that problem? Both Chamomile and Lavender are very relaxing all around.
    2. Stress Ease– a Helpful tool for helping you cope with the stress. The flavor of this tea is cinnamon, very light so you can easily double this as well.
    3. Cup of Calm– This one is my absolute favorite option for stress. I know there is already a tea labeled Stress Ease but Cup of Calm has what my mind and body really like to release stress. So as with anything, your body may have different needs than mine so play around with it a bit.
    4. Peppermint Tea– I do not double this tea, the flavor is already pretty intense. This is great for the digestive issues people with Fibromyalgia have as well and a great tea to help calm you during an emotional or stressful day.
    5. Ginger- Talk about digestive help! This tea is amazing, like the peppermint I do not double the amount of tea bags when brewing this tea. If I doubled the bags with this tea it would be too spicy for me to drink. When I am having a mother load of digestive problems this is the amazing wonder tea. I usually have to brew two cups, the first one usually helps greatly. The second cup finishes the job and takes care of any pain or discomfort I was feeling.
    6. Nighty Night– I love this one to help me get to sleep at night it also has a very smooth and yummy flavor.

I love using natural products that I know will not make my side-effects from any of my medical conditions any worse. Why take something full of additional side-effect causing ingredients? Especially when something that is nice and relaxing will do the job. With that all being said about tea I would like to share my morning cup of tea with you. May your day be full of sunshine and rainbows.

Looking for other options?

I also make whipped coconut oil. For some reason unknown to me the whipped coconut oil takes away the nerve pain in my legs. Maybe it is the massage I give while rubbing the coconut oil onto my skin or maybe it is the coconut oil itself. Whatever the reason or why I do not care because it works and that is all that matters to me at this time. On the plus side, you then end up with very silky legs and who doesn’t love that. Especially on clean sheet night.

As I have read some research on how to live with Fibromyalgia I found out chemicals can bring on some side-effects. So in order to not add to any pain, exhaustion or brain fog, I clean with natural ingredients. I use baking soda, borax, vinegar (both white and apple kinds of vinegar) and an all natural dish soap.

In addition, all of my bath and beauty products are all natural, non-GMO, Organic when possible and gluten-free. I look for other great things for the products to either be made of or not made of. As well as I will look for non-animal testing and earth-friendly. The first four things I listed are the most important to me though.

Oh, the HORROR!

Did anyone say EXERCISE?!! Yes, that is right, movement makes Fibro better for us. Unlike most TV trainers show you your exercise does not need to be strenuous. Who couldn’t use a great walk outside with the shining sun and birds chirping?

For some the word exercise is a dirty word, so let’s call it movement. Because of all my movement that is required of a body when you are moving boxes, my Fibro never showed up during our move. I am talking about everything, nerve pain (besides the pinched nerve), exhaustion, muscle pain or brain fog. Nothing happened to me until I quit moving and that was only exhaustion. Who isn’t tired after moving heavy boxes for days on end?

So just move and you will feel better something nice and easy is all it has to be, nothing more. You should also be able to graduate into more movement options than walking, eventually. I am able to jog and lift heavy weights with low reps. That took me a couple of years to accomplish that so be kind to yourself when trying to accomplish a new movement goal.

Another option most will not want to try

Lifestyle. I know many people do not want to change how they celebrate things or eat or how often they participate in movement. There is research out there, where Fibro is concerned, alcohol actually inflames us and makes Fibro side-effects worse. If you could have less pain, brain fog, and exhaustion why wouldn’t you consider taking alcohol out of your lifestyle? I know many won’t or can’t do that but being alcohol free will help you with everything Fibromyalgia related.

Did anyone say food? Yes, food plays a part in how our body functions. Most Americans eat to excite their taste buds, not their soul. If after you eat something and you do not want to lift yourself out of your chair because movement feels prohibited then you have just fed your taste buds not you. I have found that with the right food you can feel amazing inside and out. Your positivity level actually changes when you find the right food for you. Happiness, energy, kindness, and enjoyment will be with you all day long without you even having to try. And what about pain-free, would you like to be pain-free too? Yes, food effects us.

I am Vegan while I know others are happy with the RAW diet and other I know use the Keto diet. Each body is different. Find your true positivity.