Living with Clutter

Clutter affects fibromyalgia.

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My house is a clutter mess

For people without medical problems clutter can add to the stress of their daily lives. Then you become someone with Fibromyalgia and you know for sure, having clutter around you definitely affects you negatively.
I walk around my house with children asking me where is this toy or shoe or coat. I look around at all the mess around my house and the stress and Fibro Fog start creeping up on me. I also start feeling exhaustion and discomfort which leads to pain. Every time I declutter my house, car or purse I realize life is better without the clutter. Although with Fibro it may take more effort and a longer period of time to clean anything. So to make me feel better about one of my favorite rooms, my closet, I started an experiment today, and this is how it went for me.

I went on an adventure today, I started the process of reorganizing my closet per my husband’s request from several months ago and my desire to like my closet again.

How the mess began

To let you in on why my closet became so disheveled I will let you know, we keep things hidden from our children in our closet. From one child we have to keep extra food out of his reach because he has a fixation on food. Our same child also has a fixation on crafts so we have a cabinet for all of his crafts in our closet.

Our closet is also where our family computer is because another child has a fixation for always being on the computer if he can see it. So that means I also do work in my closet. (No, we are not rich our home is built for those with handicaps so the master bedroom, bathroom, and closet are quite large so a wheelchair can easily maneuver around.) So everything we hide from our children is in our closet plus the clothes I have started buying due to my desire for a new wardrobe has added to an already busy closet.

Since I am going from jeans and a T-shirt as my daily wear, to what I call girly clothes, my closet is getting a little messy. The girly clothes require more accessories and additions to outfits but dressing girly does make me feel good. I have also found that dressing girly is also gentle on my body. I do not buy anything tight or rough on my skin so I do have fewer fibro flares from the new way I dress.

The big accomplishment

Today I was able to straighten up all of the clutter in my bedroom plus the floor of my closet. I have some of those plastic containers with three drawers to put things in but I would really like something nicer to look at. There is still some work to be done but I need to buy more organizational tools to help me with the rest of the closet.

No matter how tidy I make a pile of sweater dresses the pile always becomes a mess and I am very tired of that. I really need help with organization, I have no clue how to organize my house and I think that started when I was a child. My mother is very tidy but I have no idea how to keep my house as tidy as my mother did when I was a child. My three kids are quite a bit messier in the whole house than I remember being.

I have always been this way

As a child, I did have a very messy room. My mother would permit my mess as long as I had a clean trail from my bed to the door. Luckily she did just realize this was one thing about me that would be easier for all involved if my room just stayed a disaster.

When I was older the messiness of my room went down to such a degree that the trail was now a trail of clothes on my floor and the rest of the floor was clean. Mainly I think the mess went down because I had less stuff to clutter my room up with.

Then as a young adult, my house was mostly clutter free. I didn’t have much to clutter my house up with at that time either. To make this story shorter I will go ahead and tell you, I have never been a clutter-free person. I do enjoy organization but I have never understood how to organize things all that well.

My family never had more things in our house that we had a place to keep it and that storage was almost always provided to us by the house. So I didn’t see many containers or shelves around.

In my later teenage years were spent living in different classes of RV’s. If you have ever seen the inside of an RV you know there are tons of storage compartments and there is not any room for anything extra.
As an adult with three kids, I have clutter somewhere in my house every day. No matter how much organizing I do I am always finding things through my house from the kids.

Help me…

Clutter affects fibromyalgia.

Adam (my husband) and I were just talking about how much we cannot wait until our children are a little more independent with their daily routines like getting ready for bed. After spending most of my time picking up the kids clutter after they go to bed or reorganizing my room because of the various things I have to hide in it from the kids, I am saying I want them to start putting things away more than anything else.

I know no other way to organize my house than by buying different containers or shelving. I need ideas on how to organize my house in a comforting and maybe even an eye-catching way. I want the negative side effects of clutter to go away but in all truth, I have clutter everywhere I turn. I consider a few papers on my counter to count as clutter. I need to become an A-type personality and completely organize everything!

I look at other blogs for organization ideas but so many ideas look complicated or expensive. What I really need is a magical fairy to come into my house and take care of all the mess and find a fantastic way to organize my house that I will love the look of. Could you imagine also always knowing where everything is? Maybe one day my kids will stop askin

g me where things are if everyone would just put things back where they got them. My mother used to say that all the time.

The reward,

Besides me liking the space better due to de-cluttering, Adam came into the bedroom and closet and noticed right away that I did something! Don’t you just love it when you do something and someone else notices without you saying a word about it?

Medication before paperwork

For anyone who has seen my social media posts last week, you have heard about the issue I am writing about.

My recent experience

Last week I went to the Doctor’s office to have some paperwork filled out. This Doctor was completely new to me so her need to look at my medical records before she filled out the paperwork made sense. However, Doctors continuingly to ask me am I sure I don’t want them to prescribe me pain killers or muscle relaxers. So, it is ok for them to take my word when I say I have Fibromyalgia so I can receive painkillers but they won’t fill out paperwork without seeing my medical records. That seems a little backward to me.

I even brought in the packet that was filled out by a previous doctor so this new Doctor would be able to see how to fill everything out. The previous Doctor was a military Doctor and this new Doctor is a civilian Doctor so the military office wanted to make sure she would know how to fill it out the way they wanted it. Even though the previously filled out packet listed all the diagnosis I was telling her, she still questioned the fact that I even have Fibromyalgia.

Past experience

As many other Fibromyalgia patients, I have seen many, many doctors over the years. I have met the ones who believe and the ones who do not believe in Fibromyalgia is a real diagnosis. The continuation of being questioned and sent to various specialists for many different reasons, none of the Doctors have proven that I do not have Fibro.

So my frustration here is based on the fact that Doctors will prescribe me medications for my pain but some of them will not believe me nor my medical records when we are both telling them the same things. I have Fibromyalgia! Who would want this illness? And when we are having a problem with addiction to prescription pills in society, I really want to know, why would a Doctor take my word that I have Fibro and write me a prescription?

Why are my choices not good enough?

Also, when I tell them I use natural remedies why do Doctors still try to push prescriptions? Why is it that my natural remedies are not enough for them to believe I have found something that works for me? To also add, with the addiction to prescriptions, why wouldn’t a Doctor be happy that this one patient is not one for them to worry about abusing prescription drugs?

I want to start questioning Doctors even more. I wish they would join a Facebook Fibromyalgia Support Group I am a member of. If they just joined to be a fly on the wall, they would see how many of us have shown an improvement in our lives by living naturally and eliminating certain foods from our diets. There are still members of this group who like to use the prescriptions to help them feel better at times. Either way you choose to take care of yourself is just fine. It is nice to see people support one another in each one of our individual choices of personal care.

In the end, all of us just want to be able to live life, away from our chairs or beds. My body likes the way I have chosen to take care of it. If my body did not like the way I take care of it then my body would tell me with continuous pain as well as the other endless amounts of side effects Fibromyalgia causes.

As long as we all feel better and are able to live then why do Doctors try to make us feel less than if we do not use prescriptions to help us live life? In all this time as a Fibromyalgia patient, I have met very few doctors who do not try to make me feel wrong about my choice of personal care. I wish all the doctors would listen to us more and actually hear what we are saying.

Why the frustration

And if it is that easy for me to walk in and say I have all these medical conditions and the doctors are more willing to give me a prescription than to fill out paperwork, what is this world coming to? Because the doctor is right I could be anyone just saying I have this painful medical condition and most doctors I have met would gladly give me pills before they read my medical history. This makes me sad on many accounts. My eldest son will have to go to doctors offices without me one day and although he does not have Fibromyalgia, he does have ADHD which many doctors have given him medications, I did not truly understand at the time he was given them. Now I know not to trust everything a doctor says.

I know there are many good doctors out there, I however just have not had the privilege of being their patient. I am not trying to bash doctors as a whole, I am questioning the majority of the doctors I have been a patient of. My own family history has drug and alcohol addiction in it, which is information I put on the paperwork I fill out at the beginning of my appointment with each doctor. If doctors are reading this paperwork, wouldn’t they want to warn me of the possibilities of me becoming addicted to these medications? Not one doctor ever has. Which is why I started taking them at the beginning of my life with Fibromyalgia. I trusted doctors, why wouldn’t I? I was never told anything negative about doctors nor did I see that many doctors before Fibromyalgia became part of my life, so I had no idea that I should question anything they were telling me.

At this time I am thinking, doctors need to be more vigilant. I wait in the patient rooms for quite a while, why hasn’t the doctor at least skimmed over the paperwork I filled out? Prescribing me medications with a family history of addiction could be very horrific for me and my husband and children. We are all trusting doctors to take care of us when we see them. But are they really taking care of each individual patient or just focusing on the mass majority?

An additional side effect for those of us with Fibromyalgia

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I have found a new side effect

Since April this year, I have noticed a new problem in my life. There has never been a time when I would do this to the point I am at now. A little view into my life, I have three children, one special needs and another being seen for behavioral problems so home life can be stressful. Other than that and my medical problems life is great, yet I still feel unhappy about something. 

The new negative addition to my life I am talking about is emotional eating. We have all eaten for comfort, (I have never met anyone who hasn’t eaten comfort food) this new way I have noticed myself eating is awful. I do not just have a special treat during PMS or some other emotional day. With Fibromyalgia, you know we have a lot more emotional days than ever before. I am eating for no reason at all and when I do eat I have to eat past the point of being full. This is something completely new to me. 

For anyone to constantly eat until they are full, plus more is unhealthy. I have always paid attention to not overeating. Once I start feeling full I stop because I know my stomach will be even fuller in a little bit, so why push it? I wish I knew why I am doing this to myself. I need to end it but I feel as if I do not know how since I have no idea how or why it started. 

I am still Vegan, so I do not eat any unnatural foods. I can overeat on a yummy salad just as much as I can on anything else I make. I eat this way with everything eat, except for when I eat breakfast. I just realized breakfast is either very light or I stick with the proper portions. I wonder if it is just later in the day the stress for one reason or another has become too much for me.

Some possibilities as to why

The weather is getting warmer outside, I am in the NW of Washington State so the heat is a lot for me to deal with unlike other parts of the world. I say that because when I have lived in areas where it is warmer year round, the summer wasn’t so much for me to deal with as it is here. This is the only time of year it is warm here. I have had more consistent fibro flares this season than I have had in many years. 

Lately, there was a disconnect in my marriage but we have fixed that. This problem may take some talking to someone about, in order to fix it. Or maybe as easily as it came into my life it will leave. If you have had this problem and fixed it, I would love to know how. Please leave a comment below the post. I would appreciate your insight very much. I am sure there are others of us who would be as excited as I am to fix this problem. 

Helpful Resources

There are many resources for us to turn to but hearing from someone who has been through it would be amazing. Some of the resources are classes, many classes can be offered at a local college. As well as many online classes. There are even seminars if you enjoy those types of events. 

Another way to find out some possibilities on why we participate in emotional eating is books. Self-discovery is a great way many of us choose to try and fix things about ourselves. There is also the option of joining a support or therapy group. Others may think their time would be better spent going to therapy for this problem. 

I have not yet chosen how to tackle my emotional eating problem. Personally, I will probably lean towards talking it out. Having another person help you find out what triggered the negative behavior gives me a better chance of getting it right sooner rather than later. Besides when a book describes certain reasons why you may be doing something some of us do not realize we have the problems the book is talking about and in turn will not be able to fix our problem. 

Some of the books on Amazon would be a great choice to start. 

It is always very nice when you get to find what you are looking for quickly and for less. 

Here is a list of some helpful websites you can read right now.

  1. Dr. Axe tells you the difference between mindful eating and emotional eating.
  2. Psychology of eating has 50 helpful websites for you to discover.
  3. livingstrong.com has 10 ways to break up with emotional eating.

Let me know if you find anything helpful. I need all the help I can get!

 

 

 

 

 

Is your marriage in disconnect?

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Does any of this feel familiar?

     Do you feel as if your spouse is lost to you? Have you spent more time watching TV than watching and learning about your spouse? Do your responsibilities at work run into your personal time? Do you or your spouse feel less important to each other?


     Our daily lives can bring so much resistance to the prospect of us working on our marriages. Look at how busy every family is these days. It is no wonder how sometimes our relationships can become disconnected. But taking the time to change things is always very important for all of us.

These can take time from a marriage       In my marriage, we have the stress my husband’s job, our stressful and busy children, my medical problems, lack of sleep, the house, and lack of energy. To explain the stressful children, our eldest is Autistic with ADHD, and our middle child has been very explosive with his behavior. We moved into our new house in March and things have been very hard for him ever since.

What is easy is not always best

        All of us go through a lot of activity and pressure every day, so how do you find time to connect with your spouse? Zoning out in front of a screen is very relaxing and easy. Trying to do anything besides relax after the kids have gone to bed seems like too much to ask of us. Those of us with young children are exhausted and ready for bed before the kids have gone to bed. We are the ones ready for that 8 o’clock bedtime. Or how about even 7 o’clock? That would be a great day!

What happens to a marriage when it is not taken care of

         So now we have a marriage where we no longer feel that true and pure connection. We no longer know very much about the person we share our life with. When you come to that crossroad it can feel unnatural or help you develop insecurity. Knowing where your spouse is in the marriage, and with you, is of the utmost importance.
         How can you work on something when you do not quite know what the problem is or if your spouse even wants to work on things with you? Very simply, love yourself and your marriage enough to speak up. Talk to your spouse about everything that is bothering you. If you cannot be open and vulnerable with the one you share your life with, then that is a bigger issue that must be worked on.

What will your change bring?

          If you get out a piece of paper and titled it, “Why we may not find the time to work on us” what would be on your list? Do you have money concerns, medical problems, no sitter for the children, are you two no longer getting along?                                                                           There are many different objects that can stand in our way of a well cared for marriage. But if you want to work on your marriage then start the work one way or another. If your spouse is so unhappy that they are unwilling to work with you then you do what work you can by yourself.                                                                                                      There are many books out there with marriage help ideas you can do all on your own. If the book idea does not suit you then maybe a relationship coach? We owe it to ourselves to be happy, content and loved. No one is going to do these things for us, we must first show ourselves how valuable we are. 
            Showing myself value is something I have been hearing a lot of lately. In messages, both verbal and written, these make me think about the younger me. I used to let others talk down my value. Letting people say anything to me and I might wonder, “am I really unlovable?”. I now know that I am not unlovable and have known that for many years. But when I did wonder if I was loveable, my life showed it. I had many problems with situations in my life and none of it made me happy. Now I live a different life and wish for you to know you deserve more than feeling less than.

How we have decided to help us

           This week, with both my husband and I feeling a disconnect we decided to challenge ourselves to give our marriage the most focus we could. Our goal was to change our feeling of disconnect. The feeling of disconnect was brought up by me. But my husband is participating none the less. Happy wife = Happy life.
For the challenge, we decided on two hours at night after the kids have gone to bed. (We both get up at 5 o’clock in the morning so staying up late is not great for us.) We are planning for all seven days of the week to be of use for our challenge. Next Monday is our start date. Starting on the day that starts off the work week just makes it feel more official.

        Our marriage challenge plan  

        On Monday we are challenging ourselves to no TV and conversation. Guidelines on topics for conversations have not been limited because when I limit myself it feels as if the conversation cannot grow organically. Therefore I feel as if there is something fake in the conversation. I found out this issue for myself when we were at a marriage retreat for a weekend. When we were told to tell our spouse three things we thought they did well I did not feel accepting of any of it. I like for my husband to tell me things as he is feeling them, not on the spot. And for me, I felt forced to say something and nothing great was coming to mind. He had been home for a month since his last deployment and we had not found our rhythm yet.
          Tuesday we are planning on no TV and painting some bedroom decorations we have in a closet to surprise our kids. We took the option of doing an activity we already have around the house rather than buy something new. Which are many things but we chose to paint. Painting is relaxing and can brew up a small conversation.
          Wednesday is movie night. We have a movie we bought just waiting for us to watch it. The rule for that one is, we have to watch it in our bedroom. Nicely stretched out and relaxed together on our bed.
          Thursday is game night, we will pick a card or board game from our hall closet and enjoy ourselves. Mostly we enjoy card games because of the connection we seem to receive while playing. Board games can get more rambunctious and silly fun. Both options have great attributes for us.
          Friday we have Date Night!!!! Who doesn’t love a great night out with your loved one? What we are going to do is still unclear but it will probably be something we have done many times before. My husband and I were born older than our ages and we enjoy that fact about us.
          Saturday just happens to be a day we have Baseball tickets for so that day will be amazing for us. There is just something great and relaxing about being outside watching a game. A good back of fresh roasted peanuts and the one you love next to you. Can life get any better than that?
          Sunday we are looking at reading the same book and having a discussion about it. Nothing to fancy is on our list because it is that time of the month when money is getting tighter. If the Baseball tickets were not purchased last month we would not be doing that. So no reason to think that reconnecting takes a lot of money, it just takes time and the desire. 

What are your challenge ideas?

          What will you do for the challenge?What would you include in your activity list for you and your spouse to reconnect? If you have Fibromyalgia, did it keep you from completing your challenge in a week?

 

Why I can no longer be a mother

 I can no longer be the mother I once was

I really thought I could no longer be a great mom anymore. As a parent we have all wondered at one time or another “Am I parenting correctly?”. This started happening to me after our youngest child was born, we have three children all together. My eldest is on the Autism Spectrum and has ADHD, our second child is our quick to temper antagonizer who also destroys things. Our daughter is the light in the darkness. Very sweet and always smiling.

Why I thought I was no longer a good mother

After she was born my health problems started acting up even more. I thought me being the mother I wanted to be was done. Sitting in my chair whenever possible. No longer cleaning the house as I once did. I no longer found the bright side of being a mother. Family times were painful and stressful for me. My stress effected the rest of the family as well. Our eldest became dangerous for himself and the other children. Our second child started destroying things and we had a baby who would not let us sleep. (We were able to sleep in five-hour shifts and that was it.) I was having the side effects of sleep deprivation and was not just tired but every part of my body was exhausted. Comprehension of conversation was beyond me.

Things I tried for me

I tried doing other things for myself. Things like going to school for a career I could perform at home. Due to the Fibro Fog that started a month into the educational program, I was unable to retain any information in my studies, even the information I already knew, it was lost. I studied harder and still could not get the information to stay in my brain. Life was hard at that time with the family dynamic and I thought I could find happiness in a job for myself. Something that I would do for me. Something I could be good at and also have as an escape from all of my stress.

My life changed

Many of you may think I am ungrateful for my children but you would be wrong. We prayed for our children and I suffered miscarriages and still believed that one day our prayers would be answered. I knew I would receive the children I was supposed to. Even if that meant I would never receive the gift of a beautiful baby girl.
I was unhappy because of the undiagnosed Fibromyalgia. Understanding anything that was happening to me was impossible to me, for years the doctors did not know what was wrong with me.

My glorious new beginning

I was even asked to take a mental health assessment. Right after the Doctor asked me to take the mental health assessment I felt insulted. Then I turned the table, (in my head at least) and I said yes. At that moment I decided to look at the assessment as a way for the Doctors to finally take me more seriously. They finally did take me more seriously shortly after they received the results of that assessment. I do have a family history of mental health issues which may have been one reason the Doctor asked me for the mental health assessment. Although I think it was mainly because I was sleep deprived and went into his office exhausted. He said my tired look made him think I was depressed. I was exhausted! I am sure any mother with a child who will not sleep would understand.

Our perfect day

So today I am a newish mom, in the sense of I am able to do more now with my family than I could four years ago. Especially due to having less stress in my life. Now that I know my diagnosis and what to expect things are better. Plus, my children are each four years’ older.
So, this morning I looked at my calendar and it turned out I was free today. That was when I decided it was a Gracie day. (My daughters name is Grace.) I told her as soon as she woke up. She asked what “What is that?”. I told her how we would do anything she wanted to do today. Her face lit up with excitement. I felt very blessed in that moment to be able to give it to her.

What we did together

Today we started our “Gracie Day” with coloring and popcorn. Then we traveled to her room to cuddle and watch the movie Hercules. My younger children have VCRs because VHS is harder to destroy than DVDs are. After that we finally dressed ourselves and took our dog for a walk. Where we ended our walk at a park in our neighborhood. Then we had lunch and did yoga together. After that it was time to end “Gracie Day” by rolling her window down as we drove to pick up her brother.

Why I did nothing else

I did not clean our house at all today. I wanted all of my “spoons” to go to her. My day with my daughter was a true joy. I hope this post reaches out to you and encourages you to accomplish the same experience. I believed at one time that I had to do all of the high energy things with my children still in order to give then memories and fun. After today I realized I can give them just all of my time and focus and they will be happy. 

My wishMake a wish

My wish is for me to never think that I am not enough. I never want the thought of me not being a good enough mother to enter my mind. The children just want my undivided attention and time. I do not have to do the exciting, fully stimulating and energy draining things I used to.  Although my day may seem small to some I know what I did today was huge. Grace will have memories and continue to ask for “Gracie Days” in the future. Today I gave memories, my time and joy to one very special little girl.

Let me introduce myself

Get to know a fibro warrior

Hello my name is Elyse,

I take a lot of pleasure in

  • My faith
  • Cacao (This girl is a chocoholic)
  • Spending time with my husband
  • Sleeping (when possible)
  • Drinking Lavender and Chamomile Tea
  • Days I can stay in the kitchen and cook my family’s favorites all day
  • The cuddle time I get with my kids
  • Cheering my kids on
  • Baths
  • Meditation
  • Exercise
  • Positivity
  • When I have the energy I LOVE to read. At the moment my favorite Authors are Jane Austen and J.A. Jance.

Now the Medical Problem Bio

I have Fibromyalgia, it has been a part of me since 2011. The formal diagnosis came in 2014. I was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism in mid 2011 and various other diagnoses followed after that. All of which I will share throughout my blog. Along with some blog posts about my family and the days I experience. If you have any questions please contact me at elyse@naturallyfibro.com I will be happy to help you in any way I can. Even if all you need is some contact from another person who may understand what you are going through.

Before Fibro I was active, happy and stress free. I completed my college degree and met my husband. We were able to live a better life before Fibro. I strive to live that life once again.

I am doing everything I can to find a way for myself to live comfortably with Fibro. In my search for relief from this painful yet invisible medical condition I have become my own “lab rat” as I call it. I have discovered many things that work very well for me. Nothing I have tried takes away every little bit of pain but it is manageable and I do sleep almost every night.

My goal is to become a better, happier, healthier person for myself, my husband, our three children and even for my Fibromyalgia friends which are you. I cannot wait to meet you and give you any support you are looking for that day.

What to expect in this blog

By reading the naturally fibro blog you will be able to find some information like, what Fibromyalgia is. As well as blog posts about me. Things I experience, read or find interesting. In one way or another it will all be related to Fibromyalgia.

I hope to hear your story soon.

Date night and I am exhausted

I am exhausted BUT….

We have had thto exhausted fro date nightis date on the books for about a month and of course I have been exhausted and utterly worn out since noon. Why is it that when we have something planned it seems to always be on a day that fibro shows up one way or the other? I know my day was truly exhausting because my four-year-old crashed on our couch. She never just takes a nap all by herself during the day. Her spontaneous nap is how I know my exhaustion is truly justified today. None the less I still need to muster up all the energy possible and enjoy myself tonight. Dates, whether you have been together for a year or 75 years are very important. To important to reschedule.

My husband and I have always believed in the power of date nights but ever since we moved into our new home our dates have been errands or escapes from the kids. You know how that is. So tonight is very important, we have decided to treat it like a romantic date.

The day after

Our date gave us just what we were looking for. Had I decided to stay home and put my comfy clothes on, my husband and I would never have received what we needed last night. As I realize that, I wonder how many other great experiences have I taken away from my family due to Fibromyalgia. There were many times for many years that I just sat in my chair. I did not want to do anymore than I needed to do in order to get through my day. The things I once enjoyed, as with most of you with Fibromyalgia know, were lost. Learning how to live with the side effects of Fibromyalgia is hard enough. Then you add the changes you need to make on how you do things. Not just how many things you do but how you do them.

Changes

I know without those changes I would never be as happy as I am today. Those first several years were full of so much pain and lack of understanding for myself. The anger I felt towards myself when I could not do something or held the family back. I am sure many of you can understand that frustration and anger.

I was also insecure about the future of my marriage. We make vows to each other when we are married and should stand by our word, I know. The insecurity came from me feeling as if this medical problem was also effecting him more than I cared for. He married a women who could do everything she needed to and more. Someone who was generally very happy, had energy and never yelled or had PMS. Then I turned into an emotional mess, started having PMS, yelling and always full of stress. So to me he was now married to someone different than he had made those vows to years before.

So to make sure he could be happy, I did let him know, that if he could not stay happy with me because of the Fibromyalgia I understood. I have taken that choice away now though. I am proud that I married a man who fought for me. Anyway he could help he did and still does. Even when I have very emotional days and all I want to do is bite off anyone’s head. I am sure you fully understand that feeling. How about the days when you are angry one second and the next you are crying. Fun, right?

One way I take care of myself

I still feel a little guilty when my husband does the big household chores. Because I cannot do the big chores without having a flare of side effects. But then I remember it is important to make sure I am taken care of too. If me taking care of myself means someone else must mop the floors then great. I found out I have a limitation and how to take care of that limitation. I am very thankful to have someone who understands that and doesn’t give me grief over me not being able to do something.

Some thoughts for you

So many of us are women and believe we can still be Super Woman. But doing that just puts us down again. So why do we act as if we are yo-yo’s? Switching back and forth from doing nothing because we can’t due to some side effect we are dealing with. Or we are bright and cheery and full of energy. We can have more energy, a little bit more mind you and be cheery every day. The thing is we just have to choose how we use our energy.

So take everything slow, try not to stress over to much and give yourself everything you need to go out on that date. If you nurture and then harvest yourself properly you will be able to have fun memory making days. Dates. getaways, girl time, play time. Make sure to take care of yourself and your family will enjoy you a lot more. Not to mention just how much more you will enjoy and like yourself once again too.

Start to Change

When I started to change my medication

I was a young mother wondering how long it would be before my medications put me on the operating table. I was worried who would take care of my children if I ended up needing an organ transplant. How drastically the lives of my family members would change if I were no longer here. For me the medications began to become scary with the unknown possibilities.

My thinking about the medication not being good for me started when I was getting tired of taking them every time I was in pain. Since I had to take them every time I was in pain I realized they were doing nothing to change my medical diagnosis. There was not going to come a day that I would no longer need the medication if I stayed on it. I did not like that bleak look at hope.

What I used instead of medication at first

I wanted more, more play time with the kids, more endurance, more better days. Moving my body when I wanted to and for as long as I wanted to was and is very important to me. I was thirty-years-old the day I was finally diagnosed. There was no way I was ready to say, “I will now live my life in a chair in severe pain everyday.” If my family is any indication as to how long I may live, I will live to be at least ninety-years-old. There is no way I am going to spend the next sixty-years of my life sitting in one thing or another. Just trying to get through the day.

So in order to live I decided to stop the medications which caused me to turn to alcohol. The with drawl pain on my body from the medications was severe and although I had no idea which was better, the medications or a shot or two an evening. I thought my odds seemed better with alcohol for the time being. Just until I could figure out what else to do. I did not like either the medications nor the alcohol so do not think I am trying to steer you that way. I just had no idea how to live without some immediate pain relief at that time. By the time evening came around I had it, the pain was making me cry and that would freak out my husband.

Changing for the better

Then a doctor told me I should get back on the medication for the pain because alcohol inflames us which brings on the pain in chronic pain illnesses. I was determined to not use the medications any way I could. But I knew neither me nor my husband were happy about the alcohol either. I decided then to start limiting how often I would have a drink.  My first goal I made to myself was taking alcohol away every other night. With my husbands support I took a lot more baths after we ate dinner.

He would get the kids ready for bed while I took a bath. In my bathwater I would put with 15 drops of lavender oil, 2 cups Epsom salt, and 1/2 a cup of baking soda. To detox you must stay in your bath for 20 minutes. So I would take a nice book or a meditation from my iPod. I like Meditation Oasis the voice of Mary Maddux and the music in the background made me a true fan of their work. On their website they do have a mini break meditation for seven minutes if you would like to hear what Mary Maddux sounds like. This is where you can find the mini meditation. 

After I was doing the baths every other evening I noticed, on those nights I could sleep better. I would wake up in the morning feeling better physically and mentally. I talked to my husband about me taking a bath every evening and he agreed, of course.

The change did not come quickly

The change took a while. As a mother I have found it impossible to stay on a routine when it comes to taking care of myself. Someone or something always needs us, right!? With my husbands help I do always know that taking care of myself does matter. My children are a little older now, no more babies needing everything done for them. Life has become easier that way.

I stopped using the alcohol in the place of medication in 2016, I was diagnosed early 2014. I did not just one day say that is it no more drinking until April of 2017. So it took three years for me to realize because of Fibro I could never drink again. Because of the pain it would caused. Not only does alcohol cause more pain but Fibromyalgia is known for making our response to alcohol as almost instantly drunk. That is what did it for me. I quit drinking alcohol even socially in 2017 because to me, being drunk is not fun. Especially when you have only had a sip or two.

After 2017

In 2017 a very rough year, I changed a lot. My diet, how I care for my Fibromyalgia, stopped all alcohol, those all changed for me in one year. While I was at home all alone with three kids because my husband was deployed. I hope to find many more wonderful changes in my beautiful mostly pain-free life. I never know if my Fibromyalgia will become even worse than it is today but today I am grateful for less pain. So when I do start feeling tons of pain I reach for my bathtub. I reach for my meditations and my treadmill. Movement and complete relaxation were my first natural friends. I continue to use them to this day. I hope you find your path too.

Continue reading “Start to Change”

Today: Nausea

Nausea

One of the great side-effects of Fibromyalgia, nausea. Nausea is quite debilitating. What you really want to do is fall right down and stay there. You cannot stand at all or if feels like you will be sick at any moment. So no dinner, no cleaning, barely showered and dressed. I did risk shaving my legs today. They were becoming a little to much to handle. Luckily I did not lose my balance nor hurt myself in any way.

 

On these days my husband has to do the dinner and the dishes. Luckily I do not have a husband who ever complains. Early on in my diagnosis my husband did his own research on Fibromyalgia. He wanted to know what to expect and what I was going through. I know there are many people out there with spouses who did not stay with them or argues with them about what they should be able to do. When I read or hear about those of us with Fibromyalgia not having a supportive spouse it saddens me. I wish I could be there for them. I wish all the spouses would just take the time to educate themselves. We already feel alone in this.

 

I have yet to find what my body needs when the nausea hits me. Nothing but laying down or putting heat on my stomach seems to help. This feeling also makes me very tired. My body is being told I need to feel as if I am sick today. Anyone can tell you that being sick is no fun at all. But how about feeling sick when you are not sick. Isn’t Fibro fun? But I am excited to say I have fibro flares about once a month now. Compare that to having a flare everyday and I have found a great treasure. Tea can help when I feel nauseous and mint tea is the best.

How I lived today

Other than the basics necessities of the day, I played with my daughter while I sat on the couch. We colored in her coloring books and drew on each other. She let me play with her hair. As a mom I love doing that, she very seldom lets me play with her hair. She also took advantage of me at one point and took all the game pieces out of one of her game boxes. But hey at least she didn’t put the mustard into our milk again like she did yesterday.

 

When my kids do not get their mother they really let me know about it. Having a medical diagnosis that is invisible is hard for adults to understand. Could you imagine being a kid and hearing your mom tell you, no fun today for a reason you cannot see.

When my other kids are home while I have a flare

I used to tell me kids that I was sick, I related it to them getting a cold. I thought a cold they could understand but then how do they understand the pain? One of my children, my middle child, who will do anything to make me feel better. It is the sweetest experience but then he hurts me and all of a sudden the enjoyment is gone. That is when I suggest he should come and cuddle with me.

 

I also have a twelve-year-old who I can ask to do things that seem impossible for me during a flare. His help is great for me on those days as well. The way he sweetly says, “Yes Mom?” is a very heart warming experience for me. Life can be rough sometimes but as long as we look for the sunshine everything will end up great for us.