Impossible to socialize
The reasons we can feel as if we can not socialize can be an overwhelming amount. I have to bring this for comfort, I can’t eat that, not drinking alcohol, exhaustion, fibro fog. The list can go on and on. However, the problems with us socializing do not lay all on us. We have to change the way we do everything during our daily struggle with Fibromyalgia. Which would also include socializing. Yet many people who do not have Fibromyalgia do not seem to be able to believe our problems are real. Just because Fibromyalgia is not visible to the naked eye, does not mean we are lying.
One possible way to help
Unless it is an event that is a milestone marker, (wedding, anniversary dinner, baptism, birth, funeral, etc.) I stay at home. Kids birthday parties are not on my list of must do’s. Every year we have a small family affair for our kids. Sometimes they will get a party with other kids but the number of kids is very small. We will usually limit it to the kids by our house. It is a bonus for us as well since we know the parents. (A very easy way to socialize is to get to know a neighbor.) We do not do it this way because I dislike children but because all the noise and activity is too much stimulation for people with Fibromyalgia.
How I get through the social issues
Through this whole struggle, I have never cared if anyone accepted my illness, as long as they respected it and my limitations. Getting into a debate on whether or not it is real has never happened to me. (Not including Doctors, I have debated with them.) Through support groups I have found out not having to defend yourself is not normal, which is horrible. Let me apologize for all of the mistreatment you have received from anyone because of your Fibromyalgia.
I am very lucky in this way I do know. My own family has multiple people with Fibromyalgia so no one in my family has ever said my illness is not real. My husband’s parents have both been very accepting of everything. They listen to me and try very hard to be very accommodating. This next year we will be moving across the country closer to my husbands family and my Mother-in-Law has already agreed to throw our seven-year-olds birthday party.
She is great at throwing parties for the kids so when I know we will be with her sometime close to one of our kids birthdays I let her have her fun and invite everyone she knows. All of my In-laws on the east coast have been very accepting of all the limitations I have. They ask me questions just so they can make sure I have things to eat or that I am comfortable.
What we can do for us
Due to the way Fibromyalgia sufferers have been treated by some, we all need to ban together and meet one another in person, even when we aren’t feeling our best. Because we all need people who understand and care. There are many places we can look for this opportunity at meetups.com and groups on Facebook. I myself have started a group in my local area. Posting things on Facebook is all well and good but that old fashioned face to face communication is the best!
Who wouldn’t love to meet at a coffee shop and get to know someone? Have someone to get manicures with, who understands why you called them last minute to schedule. Create a book club who all understands why you did not read what you all agreed on to discuss this week. I wrote a post about taking care of yourself that just might help you with ideas on what to do and maybe even find new friends.
Why should we feel all alone? Especially on our really hard days. Many of us have friends who have left us. We need to start a movement of action, meet the people you need to start feeling better about the way things are.
All of us are capable of more than what we think we are capable of. Don’t keep yourself down with self-doubt or thinking you can’t do something just because you have fibro. Keep trying, even when it hurts. If we all came together to push each other to live, all of our lives might be easier to live.
Life can be an amazing adventure but it is nothing if we feel as if we are stuck in a chair or our bed. Sitting and laying around is not living, at least not for me. I want more out of life than seeing the same walls, tv shows and faces. I start to feel like I am in a prison when I do nothing but stay home with my pain. I have noticed that going outside helps me, being active in any way helps me feel better and be better.
I am going to start a socializing pledge. I am going to become parts of groups that go out or have gatherings of different sorts. As well as engage with someone one on one once a month. The one on one time will be in addition to the gatherings with groups.
Last week I was invited to a potluck lunch. I am very glad I said yes and stayed. I met several new acquaintances and one that I believe will turn into a friendship.
What pledge are you willing to take for your socializing happiness? Make sure to leave your pledge in the comment section of this post. I am excited to read your pledges and also the outcomes of your pledges.
It has been said that people who exercise and socialize are actually happier and healthier, especially as they get older. So join me in making your life healthier by adding more friends to your life.